Ever lost your sense of self? I did, but I didn’t realize it until my husband & I were doing a question/answer thing for the small group we’re in.
One of the questions was, ‘What would your dream job be if you could do anything & get paid for it?’
For the first time in my life I couldn’t say what I have said on that subject since I was a kid – be a writer. And the fact that I couldn’t say that disturbed me.
I have always had 2 self-defining characteristics, one as a writer & the other as a singer. Writing was something I did quite literally since I was big enough to hold a pencil. I used to write a lot of poetry (it helped me express myself), & if I wasn’t writing stories on paper, they were writing themselves in my head. Well, I haven’t written a poem in years. 10 years ago, this blog would have had hundreds of posts within a short period of time…obviously different now. And there have been no stories forming themselves in my mind. I can’t blame my lack of writing on lack of time. I have the time to do it in the evenings. And I can’t blame the kids as being distractions because I still wrote when I was a single mom, so there’s no reason now.
What’s happened to me? I seemed to have lost all my passions.
Now I’m just Sharon the bus driver…I’m not sure if I’m okay with that.