I am feeling much better about losing my job. When I think about it, I saw it coming. And I am grateful that my final cheque was decent. But losing my job has happened so often, it’s hard not to despair about it. I wish I could figure out what God wants me to do. You expect Him to open doors for you… well, if He’s opened them, I can’t see them anywhere.
I’ve never fit in anywhere, not at school, not at church, and certainly not in almost every place I’ve ever worked. My problem with jobs seems to be that I don’t work well with others…by this I mean co-workers. I always work well with customers/clients – always. But I can’t seem to get along well with co-workers, & I can’t understand why. The only thing I can think of is that I’m too honest. Even when discretion is used, people don’t seem to like the truth.
So what do I do?? The work I loved the most, doing home care, I don’t think I can make a career of. Because I don’t have the “formal” training, I’ve only ever been hired privately, and unfortunately, in every instance, they were looking for a maid, more than a care giver of the person they hired me to take care of. And on top of that, having thrown out my back last Saturday, I must assume that my back problems will be a hindrance – it is hard to lift a 180 lb man onto a toilet with a bad back. But I loved doing that so much, making them smile, working with them, singing & reading to them.
As for office work, I just can’t seem to find a niche in that. I did once & I worked there for a year (a record length of time for me), but then they closed down my department & sent everyone packing – with severance packages, but since I’d only been there a year, mine was pretty pitiful. That position was a completely unique position. My boss had pretty much tailored it to me. That’s something I know doesn’t happen often.
So what do I do?? My two talents are almost useless as careers: I can sing & I can write. Two things I hardly ever do anymore as it is.
So what do I do, God?? What do I do??