It’s back to school season! Oh yeah! I’d have sent them back a month ago if it had been up to me.
Actually, I was kept up last night for a little while. My mind was going over the last few details I needed to keep in mind for getting the kids back to school in a few days. Then something occurred to me; after this year, there’s only one more before my oldest child is finished school. Wow! How did we get here so fast?!
And when I think about how time has gone by so fast, I worry about all the things that I could have done better or should have done at all as a mother. I was a single mother for the most of his school career, and I know that I didn’t pay attention nearly like I should have especially in the early years. I have an excuse for that – and a valid one too. But I could have gotten more help for myself…at least I think I could have. I have to admit, it’s hard to remember anymore, exactly how things were back then. That’s the problem with an eventful life – it’s hard to remember any details.
When you have children, you need to pay attention to every moment, because they don’t come back and their childhood will be over before you’re ready for it. The ironic thing about my life (can I call it ironic?) is that I have a much younger child who will be doing her kindergarten year at the same time as my oldest is doing his last year of high school. So I guess I have a second chance (or third if you count the fact that I have a child in between them as well).
But will I pay more attention? I don’t know. Having a child later (when you thought you were done) in life, is different than when you did it the first time. Basically, I’m tired. I know that I’ve been giving a great deal more slack towards my daughter than I ever gave my sons – she gets to eat more junk, gets away with crawling in my bed more, and many other things like that. And that’s because I’m just too tired to put up the fight.
So I don’t know that I’ll pay more attention…But I guess I’ll have to give it more conscious effort.