I am under spiritual attack again and this time the enemy is using my family.
My family issues are the one part of my life that I haven’t tried to rectify yet, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
Sometimes, on Facebook usually, when I’m feeling down, I post something that reflects how I’m feeling. I usually do it rather subtly; if I post it publicly, I keep it vague, otherwise it might be a message to someone, but it will still be vague. This is how I reach out for help. I can’t do it any other way. I can’t reach out to friends or family for help. And that’s because I can’t believe that they will help me if I do. I expect ridicule, accusations, or being mocked if I reach out to people, especially my family.
The other day, I sent a message to the wrong person. And I got what I expected.
My mind runs like a movie projector. As I do, say, or type (post) anything, my mind shows me what will happen as a result and, unfortunately, I tend to believe my mind.
This person made a joke on a post I had made on Facebook. I knew he meant it as a joke, but I was unable to take it as one. So I sent him a message apologizing and saying why I couldn’t take it as a joke.
What my mind had played as a response was something to the effect of “I’m sorry you feel that way, I’m sure it’s not as bad as that, maybe you should talk to them about it.”
I didn’t get that. Instead, I got the reason I don’t reach out to people.
I understand that the reactions of everyone involved was all under the influence of the enemy, and that’s the only reason I’m not wallowing in despair right now.
satan has been trying his best to keep me down because he’s afraid of me. And now, because I’ve loosed his grip everywhere else in my life, he’s attacked at the place where I’m still vulnerable.
Unfortunately, this is the area I don’t know how to deal with.
I’m not going to go into any of my familial issues here. I used to do that on my blog, but it didn’t help matters.
I guess all I can say is I need prayers for this area of my life.