Shut Up and Listen


I feel like I’ve wrecked things for my husband.

He’s at a job he really dislikes.  They treat him poorly, overwork him and underpay him.

I hate his job.  It keeps him late and when he does come home he’s a zombie, so he doesn’t have time for me or the kids.  We have enough trouble keeping things together in our marriage without being able to spend any time together.

He told me once that he felt God wanted him there.

Someone I respect told me that God wouldn’t want him where he was miserable.

I think I took that to mean that because I’m miserable God doesn’t want him there.

My husband applied at a place I suggested.  I think I may have even mentioned something about that it may be from God.  My husband is a new Christian.

He went through their preliminary testing with full expectation to hear back from them.

He hasn’t.

The disappointment of that is making going to his miserable job even worse for him.

I feel like it’s my fault.

I think I maybe presumed to know God’s will for my husband.

Now how do I undo that?

Maybe I just need to shut up and listen.

I’ve been a Christian for over 30 years.  My husband has been a Christian for 1 year.  That big difference of numbers only means I know more scripture than he does right now.   It’s not like God’s going to talk to me more than He will to Brad.  Brad is the head of the house.  And now that he’s a Christian, he is the spiritual head of the house as well.

What have I been doing.  Have I been his helper?  Have I been his supporter?  Have I been his cheerleader?

No.

I have been trying to get my way.  I’ve been complaining about how I don’t have time with him and do all the parenting myself, instead of supporting him through the crap he has to go through everyday to keep a roof over our heads and food in our fridge.

Who’s making the bigger sacrifice here?

It’s not me, is it?

I don’t know what to do now.

Any suggestions?

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4 Responses to Shut Up and Listen

  1. Lisa G. says:

    “Someone I respect told me that God wouldn’t want him where he was miserable.
    I think I took that to mean that because I’m miserable God doesn’t want him there.”

    Interesting perspective on the above quote!

    I kind of know how you feel. I always ‘wanted’ to believe that God didn’t want us where we are miserable but over the years I’ve come to realize it seems He wants us to be content where we are for the moment and trust Him for the moments to come. I’ve watched my husband work on jobs that he has absolutely hated(with construction you go from site to site company to company), but those were the ones that came up when I prayed to God for work, so I had to keep faith that things would be okay and not worry and fret.

    If there is something better out there that God has work wise for Brad, He will bring him to it. Just keep praying and believing. And if not, he will give him the strength to carry though this one. Thank God for the work and provision anyway!

    p.s. A little prayer for the softening of the hearts of his current employers couldn’t help either! 🙂

    Love, hugs, prayers.

    • Sharon G. says:

      Thanks Lisa.

      I think you’re right.

      • Lisa G. says:

        I had to learn it the hard way in the past year. Milton was out of work since October(the first time since we have lived in AB) and just recently started a new job. I am trying(very, very hard)not to not freak out about work/finances. God is really working on me to have faith in this aspect of our lives.

        As a manic worrier by nature(thank you OCD), my new motto is ‘trust God and don’t entertain the fear and doubt’ , and clinging to God’s promise that ‘He won’t see his see begging bread.’ I have to work on my mindset every moment of every day!

  2. Karen Rodway says:

    As you know, we have some experience with this. Especially in the last job. We didn’t know it at the time, but God was working to provide a better opportunity where Glen feels valued and is taken seriously. People are genuine and very nice there. When Glen lost what he thought was his “ideal” job, things just exploded and he now is dealing with issues he never wanted to. Why is this a blessing? Why was losing that job the best thing that could have ever happened to us? Well, staying there he would have ended up bitter and probably belting someone in the head. Not good. Yes, he is at a job that has less pay, but really when you have more you spend more. We have become closer as a couple because we have had to deal with the issues. It was like a splash of cold water in our face.

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