That is why my life is so messed up. I made stupid choices and now I have to live with them.
If I could have remained unaffected from things other people did to me, I might have made better choices. But, I couldn’t.
If I could have believed that men would love me for any other reason other than because I had sex with them, I wouldn’t have chosen to sleep with them. I doubt I would have married either husband if I hadn’t had consequences from sleeping with them because I thought I had to in order for them to love me. Not to mention that it is hard for me to believe that anyone will ever like me, much less love me.
So I’m living a life that is less than ideal because, primarily, of the choices I made.
So how do you live with this?
I have God in my life & I know that He loves me. But things have hit a bad patch and we’ve been here for a while. I have prayed and tried to be obedient, but nothing has changed.
Am I not doing enough? It feels like God is hiding from me.
What more can I do?