I’m Sorry


I must apologize.

I want my blog to be a source of encouragement and wisdom and a message from Jesus.

Lately, it is definitely not that.

I have been going through a hard struggle.  And I haven’t been following my own advice.  When I look at my older posts I have to wonder where that woman went.

Things got very hard very fast and it overwhelmed me.  It caused me to start looking at myself and seeing everything the wrong way.

A miserable life doesn’t have to be a miserable life when Jesus is involved.  He’s like a hit of the best drug you can get.  But I haven’t been getting any fixes lately. 

I have been trying to muddle through all on my own, even though I know better.  And, just like what always happens when I do that, everything is going into the toilet.

Fortunately, God has not given up on me.  We got our internet back at just the right time.  I was able to read some emailed devotions that helped put things in perspective. 

You can’t have an intimate relationship with anybody if you don’t spend time with them.  I haven’t been spending time with God.  I haven’t been reading His Word.  I’ve just been feeling tired and stressed and frustrated.  I’ve been grouchy because of all the things that are wrong in my life.  I haven’t been looking at what’s right.

So I have a new resolve.

I will spend more time in the Word.

I will spend more time in prayer.

God is the God of second chances (and third and fourth, etc – I’m probably at 1000th) and I am going to start over.

If you’re praying for me, please don’t stop.  It’s hard to give things over to God and not take them back.  If there’s a champion for doing that, it’s me.  Misery is comfortable and familiar to me.  The idea of total freedom is one I can’t wrap my head around and so it frightens me.  Prayer support is important and I need it desparately. 

Perhaps I’ll start a new blog; one that consists of what this one was intended for…Something to encourage and motivate others for Jesus.  That’s what I wanted this to be.

Perhaps I’ll start a new one.  But not until I get it together again.

I’ll keep you posted if I do.

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5 Responses to I’m Sorry

  1. Dawn Wilson says:

    Sweetie, I’m not sure why, but I think God directed me to read this post today, and some of your previous ones. I want to encourage you today not to give up. You are so right about God’s mercies. He is faithful to us every day, even when our lives are so faithless toward Him.

    You are a woman of God, and the enemy is disgusted by every victory. You are a woman of God, and the enemy hates your love for Jesus. You are a woman of God, and he is out to destroy you. But you have a faithful Savior, praying for you, and the Spirit of God to empower you and intercede. You have already won the most incredible battle of your life, and these little skirmishes that trip you up are designed to discourage you. But they will not defeat you! God’s plans for you are sure, and He is holding your hand (Jer. 29:11; Is. 41:13).

    My prayer for you today is peace as you rest in God mercies, power as you grab hold of God’s strength, and perspective as you seek God’s wisdom. And may you glorify and ENJOY Him today in ways that you’d never imagine. His love for you abounds … and I love you, too, for your transparent, trusting, truth-seeking heart. Blessings to you, Sister-Girlfriend.

    • Sharon G. says:

      Thank you, Dawn. This means a lot to me.

      • Rhea Chladek says:

        Don’t wait until you “get it together again,” to keep writing !”

        The enemy will do everything in his power, to convince you that you “don’t have it all together,” and that you cannot be of use to God. I know. It is a daily struggle for me, to the point of despair at times.

        In reading the Psalms, you can see that David didn’t always “have it all together” either. He was painfully honest in his cries to God. His words didn’t always sound Spiritual or pious. His words were often even “shocking.” However, he poured his heart out to God, and in the end would proclaim his faith.

        Psalm 43:5 was one of his heart cries:
        “Why, my soul, are you downcast?
        Why so disturbed within me?
        Put your hope in God,
        for I will yet praise him,
        my Savior and my God. ”

        I have been at a point of severe struggle, and Satan has been doing everything in his power to make me ineffectual, to the point of confusing my thoughts, stirring up anxiety and panic, and making me doubt not only my faith, but even my sanity. I am so grateful for God’s unfailing love and grace, because without it, I would never have made it this far.

        I stumbled upon this blog “by accident,” from a comment you made on Lysa TerKeurst’s devotional. I read the comment that Dawn Wilson made to you, and it felt like she was speaking directly to me too. I know that this was not an accident or a coincidence. God orchestrated my reading this now, so thank you for posting on your blog.

        Rhea
        05/26/11

        • Sharon G. says:

          Thank you for sharing with me Rhea.

          I should perhaps write a blog about how things are better these days, but stuff keeps coming up and I haven’t had a chance.

          But an incredible encounter with God just 2 days ago has helped immensely to strengthen my new resolve. The control and strongholds of the enemy are falling away.

          Romans 12:2 will become reality 🙂

  2. Dawn Wilson says:

    Isn’t it amazing how God orchestrates our days? God bless and encourage you today, Rhea. We all need Girlfriends to come alongside us to remind us of truth and hold us up in prayer. The enemy wants to discourage us, but the Body of Christ is strong when we support one another. (I love all the “one another” scriptures!)
    I am praying for you both, right now.

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