I must apologize.
I want my blog to be a source of encouragement and wisdom and a message from Jesus.
Lately, it is definitely not that.
I have been going through a hard struggle. And I haven’t been following my own advice. When I look at my older posts I have to wonder where that woman went.
Things got very hard very fast and it overwhelmed me. It caused me to start looking at myself and seeing everything the wrong way.
A miserable life doesn’t have to be a miserable life when Jesus is involved. He’s like a hit of the best drug you can get. But I haven’t been getting any fixes lately.
I have been trying to muddle through all on my own, even though I know better. And, just like what always happens when I do that, everything is going into the toilet.
Fortunately, God has not given up on me. We got our internet back at just the right time. I was able to read some emailed devotions that helped put things in perspective.
You can’t have an intimate relationship with anybody if you don’t spend time with them. I haven’t been spending time with God. I haven’t been reading His Word. I’ve just been feeling tired and stressed and frustrated. I’ve been grouchy because of all the things that are wrong in my life. I haven’t been looking at what’s right.
So I have a new resolve.
I will spend more time in the Word.
I will spend more time in prayer.
God is the God of second chances (and third and fourth, etc – I’m probably at 1000th) and I am going to start over.
If you’re praying for me, please don’t stop. It’s hard to give things over to God and not take them back. If there’s a champion for doing that, it’s me. Misery is comfortable and familiar to me. The idea of total freedom is one I can’t wrap my head around and so it frightens me. Prayer support is important and I need it desparately.
Perhaps I’ll start a new blog; one that consists of what this one was intended for…Something to encourage and motivate others for Jesus. That’s what I wanted this to be.
Perhaps I’ll start a new one. But not until I get it together again.
I’ll keep you posted if I do.