Since yesterday’s assignment was to read Chapter 6, I didn’t bother posting anything.
Answer Questions One and Two, and pop on over to my blog for a special post about what God has spoken to my heart concerning my own battles with forgiveness at www.myloveletter2god.blogspot.com
1. Have you ever resisted forgiving someone who hurt or disappointed you? I’m sure I have and do still, but for me it’s a matter of trust. When someone hurts or sometimes just disappoints me, they break my trust and I have a great deal of trouble trusting them again. I guess the lack of trust comes from not really or fully forgiving someone. Do you currently harbor a lack of forgiveness in your heart against someone? I guess I do; Melissa, who crushed my feelings only a week ago. Michelle. Perhaps I haven’t fully forgiven my husband for some things, because I don’t totally trust him. I don’t fully trust my 13-year-old, so maybe I haven’t forgiven him for all of the stunts he’s pulled. I don’t fully trust my pastor because she hurt my feelings badly a while ago, even though we talked about it, I guess maybe I haven’t fully forgiven her. Kirby. Don. I’m sure there are more, but of the things that happened long ago, I’m not always sure how I feel until I see the person again (like Don…I saw him at a funeral a few weeks ago, and I could barely shake his hand… I didn’t realize it still bothered me).
2. For the person(s) listed in question 1, why is forgiveness difficult (e.g., you feel you always give in, this person has not taken responsibility for his/her actions, this person has not asked for forgiveness, this person will get off easily, this person repeatedly hurts you and/or others)? For the most part it’s because I have been hurt by so many times by so many people that I can’t trust people anymore. I would be able to get over it if any of these people came to me and apologized, appearing truly sorry for what they did; and I know this to be true, because of the one or two occasions that the person who hurt me did apologize, I was able to move on from it. I guess an apology from any of these people would go a long way for me.
I’m at the point again, where I just want to hide away and close myself off from everyone. I’ve even been asking my husband if he’d like to change churches; to start over; to go to a church where no one knows me, but this time I would just keep my mouth shut and not get involved with anything. Then no one would get to know what a loser I am. I don’t feel like being myself is acceptable at my church now.
I feel like going back into hermit mode again. It’s sucks there, but it’s safer.