There are a few other things on the back shelf that have been on my mind.
One is taking ASL (American Sign Language) and being an interpreter. I used to be very fluent in sign language. But after 15 years of never using it, I’m certainly not fluent anymore. I can still sign a bit, but I don’t understand other people. But I always thought I’d be a good interpreter, because I’m familiar with the deaf community. Or at least I was. My best friend was deaf, which is how I learned sign language. We had a falling out and when I tried to get in contact with her I learned that she had died. Very heartbreaking. Especially because I had tried to contact her to tell her how Jesus had changed my life and now I was too late.
But to get back to the sign language, I always loved using it before and thought that making a living signing away would be cool.
However, I do have arthritis and wrist issues….maybe it wouldn’t work.
Then, there’s singing. Not signing, but singing.
I love to sing. Music means so much to me. But I have troubles with my hearing. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s my hearing that’s really the problem. I mean, yes, my hearing isn’t great – it’s at the bottom end of normal and I am deaf to a couple of frequencies. But I think it’s mostly my brain’s processing of sound that’s the problem. Some voices I can hear that they are saying words, but I understand it more like listening to the teacher in Charlie Brown. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. It makes singing with others a little difficult.
I had never really been interested in a career as a singer…until recently. I want to sing. I have to sing. And singing at karaoke doesn’t cut it. They don’t have the music I want to sing anyway.
This is more the music I’m talking about:
You don’t find this in karaoke shows.
I feel so pulled in so many different directions and most of the time I don’t feel like I have any opportunity to any of them. I’m a working mom & wife and I have no options. That’s how it feels a lot of the time.
God has plans for me. I know. I just wish I knew what they were. It’s hard to believe sometimes that it’s going to be something you might want or enjoy doing. I mean, I know God dropped me into the job I work at right now. I only know “salt & light” as to the purpose; maybe there’s more. I like my job for the most part. It’s certainly not what I would call “fulfilling”. It can certainly be called “frustrating” at times. Do I want to be here? Not a whole lot a lot of the time. I do enjoy the break from the kids and the pay cheque (which is desperately needed).
Mid life can really suck sometimes.
But I will endeavor to do God’s will, not mine.