Today my youngest boy turns 16.
I’ve written about him before (click here) but things have changed a lot in 3 years.
He has been in the he-knows-everything-and-his-mother-is-clueless stage for some time now. He’s entered high school and broken the law; twice.
He’s often in a sullen mood; has spoken of killing himself, quitting school, and not caring about anything in the world.
He’s added several gray hairs to my head.
But he’s also been very helpful.
He’s been talking to me in ways I feared he never would.
He’s maintained some friendships that have lasted since junior high.
Sometimes I’m afraid for him; that his ideas about life will never be based on reality.
Sometimes I’m so proud of him I could burst.
As I’ve said before he is a carbon-copy of me. I was just one year older than he is now when I left home…which was a quick way for me to enter into reality. But it was not a good thing either. I never tried to reach my potential. I saw no point in it. Instead I settled for marriage(s) and child-raising. Not that those are bad things, I love my children dearly, but there’s so much I could have done with my intellect and creativity.
I’ve been trying so hard to teach him to not do as I did. That there’s so much he could do with his life; his possibilities are virtually limitless.
Sometimes I don’t think I’ve done enough for him.
And I don’t know what else I can do.
All I can do is make sure he knows how much I love him and give him as much support as I can, and leave him in God’s hands
I wish that felt like it was enough.
Happy 16th birthday, Geoff. I love you so much.