Valentine’s Day. It usually depresses me because I’m usually alone. Interesting that it’s different this year, especially considering that I, just a few days ago, screwed up another friendship.
Maybe it’s because I’m finally getting it. I have to learn to be alone. I felt free after I got over the initial embarrassment of what happened with Ron. Free. It was as if I’d been trapped. Not trapped by Ron, he didn’t do anything wrong, but trapped – maybe by the idea of relationship. I’m not really sure.
I think I’m finally accepting the concept that in order to find myself I have to do it myself. I do need friends, a support system, but relationships only mess me up and I end up messing the guy up as well. I need to stay on my own. I won’t be able to rebuild myself if I don’t.
When in a…
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